This is a basic step-by-step guide on how to be miserable for your entire life.
1. Wake up whenever you want to.
Don’t wake up at a reasonable hour, an hour that makes you feel good about yourself, make sure you wake up when everyone has had a head start on the day.
You want to make sure you feel like you’ve missed any chance to start your day off on the right foot, and when you get out of bed, don’t make your bed, don’t shower, wear whatever you wore yesterday, and head downstairs.
It’s important that you start the day off with little to no self-respect, feeling as grimy as possible.
2. Make sure your house is always a complete disaster
Your house is filled with many rooms, each with a specific purpose, you want to make sure that it’s extremely difficult to accomplish those purposes.
The pig style will also help subconsciously reinforce the idea that you’re a disorganized person whose life is not in order, this is an extremely important belief to have when trying to remain miserable.
3. Procrastinate, procrastinate, procrastinate.
When the thought dawns on you to do something productive, like clean your disgusting kitchen, just ignore that feeling, after all, you just woke up and you have so much time later in the day to get that done.
You want to get into the habit of delegating all your life’s problems to the future version of yourself who will magically have a lot more motivation and energy than you do right now.
4. Look busy.
After you sit down to do some work, open up a PowerPoint, excel spreadsheet, or Word document to help yourself feel like you’re being productive.
Give your document a nice title, and then immediately open Reddit, Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, or even inappropriate websites, just to check if you missed anything.
It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you’re sitting at your desk and that document is open, it will help trick your conscience into thinking you’re doing work, but you won’t be getting any further in life.
5. Wait for opportunities.
Never be proactive with finding new opportunities to grow your career or meet new people, wait for all of that to come knocking on your door.
After all, good things come to those who wait… Right? You’ll meet the girl of your dreams one day and things will work out, you’ll probably also land your dream job if you wait long enough.
Anyways, the important thing is to not take any action, don’t try to figure out the most effective way to get what you want. Wait until things work out.
6. Always say no to new and exciting things that might take you out of your comfort zone.
When a friend asks you to go out and do some business networking, say no, after all, you’re super busy these days and have a lot of work to do.
When your boss gives you the opportunity to lead a meeting at work, try to find an excuse out of it.
When someone you know has an awesome startup company and wants you to get in on the action early, say it probably wouldn’t work out anyway.
The key here is to give everyone the impression that they should let you do your own thing. Be so good at saying no, that people stop asking you to do anything.
7. Always be suspicious of people.
Never give people the benefit of the doubt, believe that everyone wants to take advantage of you, and because of this, you should be guarded and put-up walls to protect yourself emotionally, assume the smiles people give you are fake, and that their motives are malevolent.
8. Never fix the things you dislike about yourself.
Continue to engage in activities that make you feel weak, never prove to yourself that you can overcome obstacles or better yourself, never attempt to change your lifestyle for the better or do personal development, subscribe to the idea that people can’t change, so you shouldn’t try.
9. Focus on things you can’t control as often as possible.
Get angry at the traffic, the government, your country, society, and talk about “The good old days.”
You want to reinforce the idea that the world is messed up and there’s nothing you can do about it.
Focus on the shortcomings of others, the failings of your country, and the state of the economy, and maintain a constant external locus of control over all the events in your life, this will help you feel powerless, and if you’re trying to be miserable, that’s perfect.
Seriously stop watching LAME stream media on your tel – LIE – vision! And you will instantly feel better. 😁
These 6 corporations control 90% of the media outlets, they give you the illusion of choice and being so-called “Staying informed and educated”.
10. Use fear as motivation.
Make the fear of negative consequences your primary motivator for everything you do, set up deadlines that frighten you, and punish yourself for failing to meet them.
Use white-knuckle tactics to force yourself into productivity and remind yourself constantly that your entire life could fall apart if you don’t keep your head above water.
11. Only do what you are comfortable with.
Let your comfort zone be the authority on what you do, if it’s not comfortable, don’t do it, avoid discomfort at all costs, and participate only in activities that are familiar and effortless.
Don’t concern yourself with gaining fresh perspectives or novel experiences, stay in your lane and run around in circles.
12. Believe you’re the chosen one and that you’re “Just built differently.”
Behave as if you’re entitled to things on the basis that you’re different than everyone else, and assume that the people that have what you want in life don’t deserve it as much as you do.
Always regard yourself as talented, unique, or one-of-a-kind, this will help you develop an outsider complex.
This will make it difficult to open up to other people or see things from their perspective, but since you don’t want to do any of that uncomfortable stuff anyways, that’s perfect.
13. See life not as it is but how you wish it to be.
Daydream of a day where things are better, fantasize about a life where all your problems magically go away, you want to make sure you mentally escape as much as possible to distract you from the obstacles in front of you.
Pour your mental energy, not into fixing your problems or improving yourself, but into building up this fantasy to be as detailed as possible.
Reflect daily about what you would buy if you won the lottery, or became a celebrity, constantly compare your life to this fiction, and become resentful that it isn’t magically happening.
If being depressing is what you’re after and you want to live a miserable and soul-sucking life, then you’re in luck, because if you follow this advice, you’ll be miserable for your entire life.
Thank you for taking some time to hang out with me today, if you feel like this post resonated with you a little too much, then, I want you to know that life isn’t over for you, no matter how many times you tell yourself the opposite.
If you still have life inside of you, then you can turn this terrible fate around and start making radical changes for the better.
I made a post on the best books that someone like you must read in order to have a happy, healthy, and meaningful life.
Some of these books I will recommend are bestsellers and some are my personal favorites that have helped me along my path of self-development, and the great thing about this list is that it isn’t those wishy-washy touch-the-surface kind of books these books go deep into uplifting and supporting you.
P.S: Don’t worry, almost all of these books have audiobook versions, and they won’t cost you an arm and a leg to buy.
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